Hey, my name is Lauren Jubb and I LOVE Jesus however this wasn’t always the case, in fact there was a time when I hated Jesus… Let me explain:
I grew up in Sheffield with my mum, dad, brother and sister. From the outside it looked like we were one big happy family when, behind closed doors, life at home was pretty tough.
My mum was mentally unwell, and my dad was an angry and violent person. He would beat my mum up, and then hit me too and lock me in a cupboard underneath the stairs. When my mum discovered this was happening to me, she kicked my dad out and they got divorced. I thought to myself ‘Amazing – now dad has left, life is going to get so much easier’, but if anything, it just got worse. My mum’s mental health deteriorated, and she ended up getting sectioned in hospital and by the age of 14 I was moved to foster care.
Throughout this, I had been going along to a local Christian youth group where the leaders would share how Jesus loved me, but I didn’t want to know anything about Jesus. I thought ‘if Jesus loves me then why is there all this bad stuff going on in my life’. I was so hurt and blamed Jesus for all it. I felt so lost and broken, and I would regularly have suicidal thoughts and self-harm because I couldn’t cope with the pain that I was feeling inside. It ended up getting so bad that I went to this bridge, stood at the edge, and jumped in an attempt to end my life.
However the craziest thing happened to me. As I jumped, what felt like a gush of wind held me back and I couldn’t actually fall! I was so confused and it didn’t make any sense to me. I had made the choice in my head to end my life and I had gone along with the action and I wanted that consequence, however something physically stopped me and saved my life that day! I went home putting up a front, making sure I didn’t tell anyone about what had just happened.
The next day I went along to my youth group as usual and my youth leader came up to me and said ‘Lauren we’re going to this gig, do you want to come along with us?’ I was always up for a dance so thought why not (they didn’t tell me it was a Christian gig as they knew I wouldn’t have gone.) At this gig I was bobbing along to the music and pretending that everything was fine in my life and then this guy on the stage starts to talk and he says these words from God! He said: ‘There is someone here today that tried to take their life yesterday, but I am here to tell you that Jesus has a plan for your life.’ I was so taken back! How could he have known that was my story? I had not told anyone!
I knew in that moment it must have been God speaking to me, and I realised that it also must have been God who had saved me when I tried jumping off that bridge!
After that, I couldn’t stop thinking about God! Two weeks after this gig, I went to church and realised that I had to give my whole life to Jesus. It was the BEST decision I have ever made because Jesus has totally restored and transformed my life and my family’s life! My mum is doing loads better and is now a Christian! I have such a passion to go and tell people about Jesus, I love him and can’t not share about him with everyone around me.
I am now a school’s worker for a mission group called Respect Me where we go into schools and teach young people about their value and worth which we believe is found from what God says about them. (You can find out more about Respect Me at respectme.co.uk)
Written by Lauren Jubb. Lauren has been a member of an Advance Group for a number of years. She is part of the Respect Me team at The Message Trust which main mission is to reach young people for Jesus and teach them their value in Gods eyes. She also leads Genetik Sessions a creative arts youth group. Lauren is part of Soul City church in Stockport and is so passionate about reaching the least, the last and the lost.